Vision Circles

A successful life means that we are developing harmoniously in each area according to our ideals. Success in one area will contribute to development in the other areas.

We all want to be successful in our careers, our marriages, in our families as parents and children, in our social relations, and in our personal lives. But how do we know whether or not we are being successful in these five essential dimensions of our lives? From time to time we may judge ourselves harshly, because we feel that we are not measuring up to what is expected of us. Usually, we are clear about the minimal external standards of human conduct set by society or about the nature of a particular task demanding certain talents. For example, as a ballplayer or a musician we know the gifts that we have to possess and the skills that we have to master, if we want to excel. But no matter what endowments we have, we will never be successful without setting up our own internal standards. I have to ask myself, "For me, what does it mean to be the ideal baseball player?", or, "For me, what does it mean to be the ideal pianist?". Nobody performs an art or plays a game with the intention of achieving an average result.

In matters of relationships, which are at the heart of each dimension in the pentagon of life, the external standards are not so specific. Our own ideals about being a trusted friend, a loving spouse, a caring parent, a reliable neighbor, a cooperative professional, and a genuine person are more demanding criteria for evaluating our behavior. Because our standards are so high, usually, we are more aware of our omissions and transgressions that signal our failures than our successes. There always seems to be that gap between the way we are and the way that we could be. So, generally, we rate our performance as "okay", as along as we are not messing up badly. However, if we had more clarity about the meaning of our ideals and the practical ways to make them concrete, we would experience the joy of succeeding in the five basic areas of life. Those feelings of gnawing guilt and pervading mediocrity would vanish.